The LAST CHANCERS | Warhammer 40k Imperial Guard Lore
Joshy and Jonny plunge headfirst into the wild lore of the Last Chancers—the Imperial Guard’s very own Suicide Squad. These aren’t your average grunts; they’re convicted criminals from amongst the Guard’s own, offered one final shot at redemption... by being thrown into the deadliest missions imaginable.
Led by the charismatic (and slightly unhinged) Colonel Schaeffer—a man who cheats death like it’s a hobby—this ragtag unit faces everything from Tyranids to Orks, often with nothing but bad attitudes and big explosions.
Join us as we unpack the crusades of this doomed crew. This isn’t just lore; it’s a mad dash through one of Warhammer’s most chaotic corners.
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TTP Field Manual is brought to you by Joshy and Jonny, best friends and gaming enthusiasts from their local group, Trust the Process Hobbies. Die-hard fans of the Warhammer universe, we use this podcast as a platform to share our passionate (and somewhat humorous) ramblings about all things Grimdark.
By day, Joshy is a therapist; by night, he's an RPG aficionado who grew up on (not-so) Final Fantasies and crafting his own Dungeons & Dragons worlds. Jonny, a technician, spends his downtime conquering more video games than Joshy can keep track of.
Transcript
Hey, are you ready to listen to another TTV field manual, recruit?
Speaker B:Oh, God, that's gonna push some people away.
Speaker A:It's okay.
Speaker A:I fade in the recording.
Speaker A:It's great.
Speaker B:How are you today, Joshy?
Speaker A:Good, mate.
Speaker A:That's my impression of Imperial Guard Commissar.
Speaker B:Well, everyone, welcome to the TTP Field manual.
Speaker B:Sorry you had to hear all that.
Speaker A:Good day, everybody.
Speaker A:Hope you're doing well.
Speaker A:How are you, Jonny?
Speaker B:I'm doing all right.
Speaker B:I'm doing alright.
Speaker B:How are you?
Speaker A:Yeah, not too bad.
Speaker A:High spirited evidently.
Speaker B:It's always good.
Speaker A:Mmm.
Speaker A:So you're good?
Speaker A:You're good?
Speaker A:I'm good.
Speaker B:What have you been up to in the hobby world today or this week?
Speaker B:Not just today.
Speaker A:I was just about to say, are you ready for my favorite segment?
Speaker A:How is your hobby?
Speaker B:I am.
Speaker A:How is your hobby?
Speaker A:Mine's been alright.
Speaker A:I just last night finished my.
Speaker A:Well building.
Speaker A:Painting's another story.
Speaker A:I finished building.
Speaker A:Sorry.
Speaker A:I finished building my Corsairs Kill team.
Speaker B:Ooh, speaking of kill teams, I currently have 10 headless dudes sitting on my desk next to me as I purchased the leagues of Votann Herncin Jaeger's Kill Team as a little fun little project.
Speaker A:To build and paint rock and stone.
Speaker B:For those moments where I need to break up the painting of Sandy boys.
Speaker A:Hey, hey.
Speaker A:Now you're teetering on dangerous territory.
Speaker A:You're heading into the Josh zone of having lots of different things going on.
Speaker B:Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
Speaker B:My main project is still going to be the Sandy Boys and I need to finish them before armies have preyed.
Speaker A:I am keen to see them finished.
Speaker A:It'll be good.
Speaker B:I think it'll look very nice when there's a bunch of dudes.
Speaker B:Individually they're not quite as mind blowing as some of the other things that I've had to paint and do, but I think as an army they will look very nice on the table.
Speaker A:Yeah, your previous project was like five very big individuals and now it's a normal army.
Speaker B:Yeah, turns out for me that's a lot harder to get started.
Speaker B:The idea of five big models doesn't sound as intimidating as 50 small models.
Speaker A:How is your knight tyrant going by the way?
Speaker B:I have an armies of unpred to do.
Speaker B:He is on the backlog temporarily.
Speaker A:I would.
Speaker A:I would agree that there is stuff on the backlog, but my painting is less far along than yours.
Speaker B:But yeah, I've got 10 currently headless Herncinjegers because I want to get some 3D printed heads because I want more beards as You've heard a few times now, Josh.
Speaker A:Yeah, you can't have dwarves without beards, apparently.
Speaker B:And even looking at the head options in the boxes, they're all kind of like mutton chops at most.
Speaker B:There's no like bearded dude.
Speaker A:Mutton chops.
Speaker A:What a interesting choice to take your army.
Speaker A:Alright then, as always, I am here to tell you that we have an Instagram TTP field manual.
Speaker B:Go.
Speaker A:Follow.
Speaker A:Maybe I'll post things after you do.
Speaker A:So, Book club.
Speaker A:We are very close to recording Fulgrim.
Speaker B:Pretty keen to have a chat about that.
Speaker B:And then we need to work out what our next book will be.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So you finished Fulgrim and you're about to head on to work trip.
Speaker A:I was wondering if, considering this is also a lore episode, we can use this as a bit of an icebreaker into talking about some lore by choosing what the next book club book is going to be.
Speaker A:What do you think?
Speaker B:Oh yeah.
Speaker B:You want to decide now before we've even done the previous one?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:That way you can get a head start if you want, while I'm away.
Speaker B:I might have some extra time to listen to audiobooks, depending on what I'm doing.
Speaker A:I mean, we can hold off if you want.
Speaker A:Or we could figure it out because I only have like an hour ish to go and we record weekly, so.
Speaker B:So alright, what would do you have any suggestions for what we should do for our next audiobook?
Speaker A:I have six.
Speaker B:Hot damn, I have two.
Speaker A:Well, the six probably includes your two.
Speaker B:Probably.
Speaker A:So my options include.
Speaker A:And I'll give you the quick tldr on them and then.
Speaker A:And then throw it back to me.
Speaker A:So we're listening to Fulgrim HH Book 5.
Speaker A:The probably most straightforward idea is the direct continuation of the Fulgrim and associated characters plotline that would jump us through the saga to a book called Angel Exterminatus.
Speaker A:It is Fulgrim and his best bro, Peter Turbo or Perchurabo of the Iron Warriors.
Speaker A:And it's a bit more of the physical metamorphosis of Fulgrim and a bit of a look at the Iron warriors and a bit more on the like Heresy in full swing rather than the opening acts.
Speaker A:The second idea I had was Fulgrim, but current something that I think might be your of your two ideas.
Speaker B:Sure is.
Speaker A:And it's the brand new.
Speaker A:Ah, yeah.
Speaker A:It's the brand new book released alongside the Emperor's Children 10th edition release that has an audiobook by written by Jude Reid.
Speaker A:So that Exists if you want to have a look at what fulgrim's up to.
Speaker A:10k years later.
Speaker A:My third option is also Emperor's children nowadays, but the Renegades Lords of Excess novel so that it's Emperor's children but not Fulgrim.
Speaker A:It's the mothers.
Speaker A:What else is going on in the Legion?
Speaker A:My fourth idea was your probably second idea.
Speaker B:Damn it.
Speaker A:No, like the fourth idea is like on my notes, Johnny's idea.
Speaker B:Oh, okay, alright, I forgive you.
Speaker A:Do you want to say what it was?
Speaker B:Everyone's.
Speaker B:One of everyone's favourite books from the recent history is the Infinite and the Divine.
Speaker B:A Necron book.
Speaker A:Curiously, I have not read it, which.
Speaker B:Surprised me, but also works because it means we could do a book club on it.
Speaker A:Yeah, Good friend of the show has also started reading Infinite Divine and has asked what I think about it being a Necron plant.
Speaker A:I'm like, well, here's the thing.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker A:So option five, community pick ought so Infinite and the Divine.
Speaker A:And option six is Josh's wild pick.
Speaker B:Oh no.
Speaker B:And what is the wild pick?
Speaker A:A book called Dominion Genesis.
Speaker A:It is a dark and depressing tale of Adeptus Mechanicus Magi as her forge world is devoured by the Tyranids and she starts to do the techno heresies by digging up all the old relics in war weaponry to try and combat the threat.
Speaker A:All the while Eldar are sticking their hands in the pie trying to stop her.
Speaker B:Why are the Eldar always there?
Speaker B:Next you're gonna tell me there's a certain Harlequin that makes an appearance.
Speaker A:I don't know.
Speaker A:That's all I really know of the novel.
Speaker A:But that's Josh's wild pick.
Speaker A:We have six picks there, two of them are the same pick.
Speaker A:What do you think?
Speaker B:I think.
Speaker B:And this might be because I'm biased, I do like the sound of option number one.
Speaker B:I would like to know a little bit more about how Fulgrim became what Fulgrim became.
Speaker B:And I have a soft spot for Iron warriors due to creating a army based on the Iron Warriors.
Speaker B:So finding out a little bit more about the Petulant Man Child himself would be lovely.
Speaker A:All right, shall we look in Angel Exterminatus then as book club topic three?
Speaker B:Let's do it.
Speaker A:Alright.
Speaker A:That was easy.
Speaker A:So sorry, Trazon.
Speaker B:Hey.
Speaker B:Hey.
Speaker B:We have five more episodes.
Speaker B:Five more book club ideas, all right?
Speaker B:We'll get through them.
Speaker B:Maybe the Infinite and Divine is the next one, but I would like to see a continuation.
Speaker A:Yeah, I wanted A direct sequel.
Speaker A:I wanted a character continuation.
Speaker A:Something that explores the Legion and then some other stuff.
Speaker A:But I think Angel Exterminatus is probably the safe choice.
Speaker B:Yeah, and it really goes.
Speaker B:It also works well with the way a lot of people handle the Horus heresy.
Speaker B:This huge library which is.
Speaker B:Read the first five and then stick to a character you like.
Speaker A:If Lucius is in Angel Exterminatus, I'm gonna change my mind.
Speaker B:Ah, let's be real.
Speaker B:It's an Emperor's Children book.
Speaker B:He'll be there.
Speaker A:Hang on, let me.
Speaker A:Let me look it up.
Speaker B:Is Lucius in this book?
Speaker B:If so, change of mind.
Speaker A:Lucius.
Speaker A:Lexicanum.
Speaker A:That always tells you the sources.
Speaker B:Scrolls to the bottom.
Speaker A:Lucius.
Speaker A:Let's see.
Speaker A:Oh, fuck, he is.
Speaker B:See, I don't mind Lucius.
Speaker A:I like what he represents.
Speaker A:I just don't like what he does.
Speaker B:Oh, he's definitely a conniving person.
Speaker B:Trying to think of the right word.
Speaker B:That didn't sound too offensive.
Speaker B:Had to censor myself.
Speaker A:Alright.
Speaker A:Well, well, well.
Speaker A:So we've had a little chat about what we've been doing.
Speaker A:We got our next book club into gear.
Speaker A:Shall we get onto our actual topic?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:This is your last chance.
Speaker A:This is your last chance.
Speaker B:No, no, no.
Speaker B:We've.
Speaker B:We've been wanting to talk about this for a couple of weeks now and we're running out of chances.
Speaker A:This is my last chance.
Speaker B:This is your last chance.
Speaker A:If we don't talk about it today, we never talk about the last chance.
Speaker A:All right?
Speaker A:This will be the first and the last law.
Speaker A:Okay, I'll shut up.
Speaker A:All right.
Speaker A:All right.
Speaker A:Gaunt.
Speaker A:Oh, hold on.
Speaker A:My recording software has been fucky.
Speaker A:No, we're good.
Speaker A:This will be the first Astra Militarum oriented Lore episode.
Speaker A:Oh dear.
Speaker B:Oh, isn't that our least favorite faction?
Speaker B:Based on slag.
Speaker A:Slag is a subjective metric.
Speaker A:There's always good things involved in these factions.
Speaker A:One of them is the 13th penal legion.
Speaker A:Johnny.
Speaker B:Hey, what'd you just call me?
Speaker A:The 13th Penis Legion, Johnny.
Speaker B:Nice.
Speaker A:The 13th Penal Legion, aka the Last Chances.
Speaker A:Because every good regiment needs a cool name.
Speaker B:That is a pretty cool name, I gotta admit.
Speaker A:So when you hear Both those terms, 13th penal legion and their nickname, the Last Chances.
Speaker A:What?
Speaker A:What do you think we're doing?
Speaker B:Some Suicide Squad stuff.
Speaker A:You're not wrong.
Speaker B:Like that's.
Speaker B:That's all that comes to mind is we're doing some Suicide Squad stuff.
Speaker B:It's going to be a group of people that have been imprisoned, that are used to do things because they are removable from society.
Speaker B:They won't be missed.
Speaker A:Would you.
Speaker A:Would you like a quote directly from the opening page of one of these novels to get a bit of immersion into exactly what you just said?
Speaker B:Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker A:I'm starting to feel dizzy now.
Speaker A:The air from the mask has almost run out.
Speaker A:I wipe a hand across the visor of the mask a few times before I realise the spots are in my eyes, not on the plasticised lenses.
Speaker A:I gasp when I try to take my next breath and I realise with panic that the tank's empty.
Speaker A:There's just what's left in the mask itself.
Speaker A:More of the aliens are streaming down the tunnel and I manage to fire again, my throat tightening as I try to breathe non existent air.
Speaker A:The dizziness floods up into my head and my legs just collapse underneath me.
Speaker A:I can hardly move, but I can see the darker shadow of the alien wave getting closer.
Speaker A:I'm choking, my chest tightening, but I manage to angle the flamer in front of me and fire again, forcing the soldiers back a final time.
Speaker A:All life goes from my fingers and I see rather than feel the weapon slipping from my grasp.
Speaker A:I try to push myself up to find some last reserve of strength, but there is none this time there's just a roaring in my ears and blackness swirls around me, darkness imprisoning me.
Speaker A:Sorry, I should shut up, Johnny.
Speaker B:That is.
Speaker B:That is a heady quote.
Speaker B:I had to break it up with some humour.
Speaker B:Alright.
Speaker B:That's a coping mechanism.
Speaker A:Laugh so you don't cry, mate.
Speaker B:That's it.
Speaker A:That was the opening of the novel thirteenth Legion, one of four novels in the Last Chances series.
Speaker A:What is this series?
Speaker A: It is an early, early: Speaker A: th Legion in: Speaker A: came out three years later in: Speaker A:Now, why would we talk about the Last Chances?
Speaker A:Well, that's because book four coming out 15 years later is called Armageddon Saint.
Speaker B:Ah, it all makes sense.
Speaker B:Now.
Speaker A:Who wrote the Last Chances?
Speaker A:Well, that would be Gav Thorpe.
Speaker A:Who's Gav Thorpe?
Speaker A:He is a fellow who has written extensively for Warhammer.
Speaker A:Of particular note, he wrote a lot of the third and fourth edition of the game.
Speaker A:He's done a lot of novels.
Speaker A:His novels include a lot of the Aeldari stuff, such as the Azimin novel, the Paths of the Eldar novels, the Ynnari novels.
Speaker A:He wrote the Indomitus Launch novel.
Speaker A:He has written The Legacy of Caliban series.
Speaker A:So a bunch of dark angels within the Horus heresy.
Speaker A:He was responsible for the Raven Guard novels.
Speaker A:And most recently he's actually written the very first Leagues of Votann novel, High Carl's Oath.
Speaker B:Nice.
Speaker B:Yeah, dude's been around.
Speaker A:So a pretty good pedigree.
Speaker A:Pretty good pedigree.
Speaker A:But the last chances are obviously very Suicide Squadish.
Speaker A:They are very penal legion.
Speaker A:They have been inspired supposedly by the film the Dirty Dozen as well by the real life stories of the penal legions employed in the wars featuring both Soviet Russia and Nazi Germany.
Speaker A:I'm sure you could easily find stories there about what penal legions were forced to do.
Speaker A:Classically, they were used as meat shields.
Speaker A:So you can kind of get the gist of what the last chances are going for here.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker A:So this particular penal legion, what do you expect to hear from their storyline today, my friend?
Speaker B:A ragtag group of individuals who accomplish the unaccomplishable and maybe die trying.
Speaker A:So you're not wrong.
Speaker A:The saga itself comes out in a bit of a cheesy early Black Library vibe.
Speaker A:It.
Speaker A:It's coming out alongside such classic sagas as the Eisenhorn Inquisition series, the Ghaun's Ghosts, that kind of vibe, a lot of military pulp.
Speaker A:At this point in time, the power balances that we would understand today weren't quite a thing.
Speaker A:It's a little more grounded, I would say.
Speaker A:You know, normal human soldiers can achieve quite a lot, especially if you throw.
Speaker B:Enough of them at the screen.
Speaker A:This is one of those moments though, where Black Library doesn't understand metrics very well.
Speaker B:We have the number problem, they have the number problem.
Speaker A:But this particular penal Legion, Johnny, is used specifically for top secret hazardous special operations.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:Under the leadership of one Colonel Schaefer, which I'm being very genuine here about his inspiration.
Speaker A:It is Arnold Schwarzenegger's character from Predator.
Speaker B:Nice.
Speaker A:Like it's genuinely the inspiration that's really.
Speaker B:Showing the way that Warhammer used to take from fiction and now they're like, please don't take our fiction.
Speaker A:Yeah, they used to be very like adopting of other narratives and just like recontextualise it to 40k.
Speaker A:But now, yeah, it's like, no, we're our own thing.
Speaker B:We're big enough that we can push back.
Speaker A:Imperial Guard Basic.
Speaker A:It's Astra Militarum now.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Space Marines, you mean Adeptus Astartes.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So under the leadership of Colonel Schaefer, they have never failed a mission.
Speaker B:Not much of a suicide squad if they've never failed.
Speaker A:Well, here's the thing.
Speaker A:Those who do die on the missions are redeemed posthumously.
Speaker A:Posthumously.
Speaker A:Posthumously.
Speaker B:There you go.
Speaker B:You got there.
Speaker A:That's it.
Speaker A:By the Colonel.
Speaker A:The Last Chances are in a constant state of battle readiness as they are held on board starships and heavily guarded because it's a penal legion.
Speaker A:They're all criminals.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:It's just a prison barge full of the most effective killers.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And then they just release them as they need them.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker A:If they don't know they are Last Chances, they are potentially unknowingly selected by the Colonel himself based on their rap sheet.
Speaker A:And then they have their records expunged and they are anonymously transferred to an anonymous penal colony where they are just kept there as prisoners until they are offered their last chance to be redeemed in the eyes of the Emperor.
Speaker B:That's some very sisters of Battle.
Speaker B:Sorry.
Speaker B:Adeptus sororitus nonsense.
Speaker A:I would agree.
Speaker A:Let's have a little bit of a very brief dossier of some of the characters that will be amongst the Last Chances here, and then we'll kind of go through the little bits of lore that they have.
Speaker A:So we have Colonel Schaefer.
Speaker A:He is the commander.
Speaker A:He is a firm believer of granting a last chance.
Speaker A:However, dude is insane.
Speaker A:Several of his recruits to his penal legion actually choose summary execution rather than serve.
Speaker B:Ah, he's that kind of guy.
Speaker A:They're like, nope, I'm not doing what this guy needs me to do.
Speaker A:I'm out of here.
Speaker A:So, Colonel Schaefer, quite the fellow.
Speaker A:He is over 300 years old.
Speaker B:But he's human, right?
Speaker A:His body.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker A:His body has been reconstructed by Mechanicus Tech, priests and inquisition alike.
Speaker A:He has had his eyes replaced by eyes that are notoriously icy blue.
Speaker A:His spine has been rebuilt after he was ran over by a tank.
Speaker A:His arm has been replaced after a plasma bolt shot it off.
Speaker A:And he is fighting, like, with both a power sword and a plasma pistol.
Speaker B:Dude is a Chad.
Speaker A:And this is a guy who's essentially Arnold Schwarzenegger from Predator.
Speaker B:I mean, of course it is.
Speaker A:Yeah, of course it is.
Speaker A:Like, you hear this guy?
Speaker A:You're like, yeah, I could see Arnold Schwarzenegger playing this guy.
Speaker B:Surprised they didn't go with Rambo, but I guess they based an entire planet's civilians off of Rambo.
Speaker A:They did.
Speaker A:In addition to Colonel Schaefer, we have Lieutenant Cage.
Speaker A:Lieutenant Cage, from what I gathered.
Speaker A:Now, full disclaimer.
Speaker A:I have not read this book series, but it's been out for a while.
Speaker A:You can read the Summary.
Speaker A:I just came across these guys when I was researching Armageddon.
Speaker A:I was like, holy heck, this guy's a fun.
Speaker B:This guy's a chad.
Speaker A:So Lieutenant Cage, from what I can tell, he's a bit of a POV character for the novels.
Speaker A:He's, he's like the guy that's always like, there.
Speaker A:He's, he's the guy on the ground getting the stuff done in the name of the Colonel and the Legion.
Speaker A:Lieutenant Cage has actually entered the Legion three times.
Speaker B:Ah.
Speaker A:Because you do a crime, Schaefer is like, you're in.
Speaker A:And then once you've done the mission, if you survive, you're pardoned.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:You've had your last chance.
Speaker A:You did it.
Speaker A:Good luck.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:But Cage has come in three separate times.
Speaker B:I feel like at that point you need to turn around, be like, sorry, mate, you had your chance.
Speaker A:Well, he entered the first time after shooting his sergeant over a woman.
Speaker A:He was then discharged, then arrested a second time about a year later.
Speaker A:For doing another murder.
Speaker B:For doing another murder.
Speaker A:He survived the second mission he was part of, which I believe is, you know, the first book, second book, and then afterwards he's like, you know what?
Speaker A:I like this Colonel, he gets stuff done.
Speaker A:And he voluntarily placed himself under the Colonel's command indefinitely and would eventually become the senior ranked officer of the Last Chances.
Speaker B:Oh, damn.
Speaker A:Now we have a bunch of codenamed individuals that come and go across the narrative of the Last Chances.
Speaker A:So you just kind of have to assume they're in there somewhere.
Speaker A:From what I gather, they're more of a later on in the saga getting put in.
Speaker A:You'll see what I mean when we start to talk about their actual, like, campaigns.
Speaker A:You'll see what I mean by don't put them in immediately, put them in later.
Speaker A:But they have Minis, Jonny.
Speaker B:They have Minis.
Speaker A:Look up Last Chance's Minis.
Speaker A:They are a third edition unit and they don't look great.
Speaker B:Because they're from third edition.
Speaker A:Yeah, they don't look great.
Speaker A:You tell me when you see in.
Speaker B:Them Schaefer's Last Chance.
Speaker B:No, I need a better image than that.
Speaker A:Yeah, Schaefer has a Mini.
Speaker B:Oh, they're kind of cute.
Speaker A:They are kind of cute.
Speaker A:I actually think that's one of the better jobs of face sculpts.
Speaker B:Yeah, I don't mind them.
Speaker B:Eh?
Speaker B:They're definitely old and you can tell they're old.
Speaker A:But yeah, nah, I want you to just pick one of them and I'll tell you a bit about them.
Speaker B:I want to Know about the Indian dude, Shiv?
Speaker B:Yeah, the dude with the headband.
Speaker B:It looks like he was inspired by American Indians.
Speaker A:So much like a lot of soldiers in these books, there's not too much about them.
Speaker A:The Last Chancers lean into this a bit more by having those particular individuals all with their records scrubbed.
Speaker A:They're kind of nobodies.
Speaker A:They are a face to wear.
Speaker A:This mantle of Shiv or Animal or whoever else.
Speaker B:Ah, it's the code name as opposed to the person.
Speaker B:It's like a position kind of.
Speaker A:But except for a couple of them.
Speaker A:These individuals, from what I can tell, that's their personal codename.
Speaker A:But a couple of other people have had like, brains, for example, or Rocket Girl.
Speaker B:Including a dude, Right?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So Shiv was recruited during temporary custody over an investigation of the murder of 20 civilians.
Speaker B:Oh, damn.
Speaker B:Dude's been around.
Speaker A:He is a.
Speaker A:A natural assassin and wields a rare monofilament knife.
Speaker B:Now, monofilament doesn't seem as rare as they make it out to be.
Speaker A:Yeah, except for the tidbit of monofilament weaponry are Eldar technology.
Speaker B:Yeah, but like you quite often hear, oh, this person has a rare monofilament weapon.
Speaker B:It's like rare in the great scheme of things.
Speaker B:Doesn't seem very rare.
Speaker A:I mean, your perspective characters need to be a bit cooler, right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Does your character.
Speaker B:Is your character cool?
Speaker B:If yes, they get monofilament weaponry.
Speaker A:They are slightly elder.
Speaker A:Hmm.
Speaker A:I'll tell you about Animal, since I already mentioned him.
Speaker A:He's a violent psychopath with schizophrenia.
Speaker A:He is kept in chains and is kept gagged, routinely thought of as one of the best fighters to ever grace the Imperial Guard.
Speaker B:Oh, damn.
Speaker A:He has a 93 page criminal record.
Speaker B:Why does his mini have a melter then?
Speaker A:Because he's really good with it.
Speaker A:What if I told you the guy also has the squad scanner?
Speaker B:Wouldn't you give that to the brains?
Speaker A:Oh, nah.
Speaker A:The 93 page criminal, violent, schizophrenic.
Speaker A:Why not give him the melter gun and the scanner, Go nuts, find them.
Speaker B:And turn them into paste.
Speaker A:Would you like some others?
Speaker B:One more.
Speaker B:Let's find more on the Rocket Girl.
Speaker B:Because the fact that they decided to make a Rocket Girl in this era of 40k blows my mind.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker A:So Rocket Girl, while she was within the Guard, rose to the position of Master at Arms.
Speaker B:Nice.
Speaker A:She then murdered a fellow Master Sergeant for whatever reason.
Speaker B:Ah, I can imagine.
Speaker A:So she wields a missile launcher, as you pointed out.
Speaker B:It's in the name.
Speaker A:But she's like, incredibly efficient with it.
Speaker A:And she incorporates what's just called unusual ammunition that another of the Last Chances procures for her.
Speaker B:Do they call it that because you don't want to know what it is?
Speaker A:I suppose so.
Speaker A:But I guess it allows them to be like, yeah, the thing just blew up because the.
Speaker A:The rocket was so powerful.
Speaker A:You know, probably a bit of that.
Speaker B:At least it's not bodies.
Speaker A:Well, you never know.
Speaker B:Yeah, right.
Speaker A:Anyone else, or shall we move along?
Speaker B:Let's move into some actual lore about these gentlemen and ladies.
Speaker A:Yeah, you've got a bit of a background of some characters and the.
Speaker A:The type of individuals that are part of the Last Chances.
Speaker A:Again, Penal legion.
Speaker A:All criminals.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker A:Or at least people claimed to be criminals.
Speaker A:So the book 13th Legion, from where I read out the quote, is where the saga of them all takes place, or sorry, begins.
Speaker A:And it starts with something known as Operation Harvest.
Speaker A:So the records of the Last Chances begin during the second tyrannic war with a record of approximately 4,000 troops that would be slowly whittled down over the following two and a half years of missions.
Speaker A:Now, Second Tyrannic War, we can imagine they're fighting a bunch of NIDs, right?
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:So the Last Chances have fought over battlefields such as ICAR4, Octogenesis Promor, whatever these places are.
Speaker A:They fought Tyranids.
Speaker B:They're getting pretty good at fighting NIDs.
Speaker A:Yeah, they fought on Deliverance, which I'm a little confused by it because that's the Raven Guard Monastery world.
Speaker B:Yeah, they just show up, right?
Speaker A:They just showed up.
Speaker A:Also battling Tyranids.
Speaker A:By this point, they are down to 250 effectives.
Speaker A:Fool's paradise.
Speaker A:They hunted down and killed a Demon Prince.
Speaker B:Hey.
Speaker B:What?
Speaker A:They hunted down and killed a Demon Prince.
Speaker B:Feel like these 12 dudes would fall over to a wet breeze if a Demon Prince showed up.
Speaker A:Well, they had 250 effectives before this mission.
Speaker B:True.
Speaker B:And you're gonna tell me there's like 12 left?
Speaker A:No, there's two.
Speaker B:It took 248 of them to take down a Demon Prince.
Speaker B:That seems more fitting.
Speaker A:That's good.
Speaker A:That's good.
Speaker A:Trade.
Speaker B:That is minor casualties in the grand scheme of things.
Speaker A:They got reinforcements.
Speaker B:There's always more prisoners.
Speaker A:They went off to battle at False Hope, where they battled the indigenous life forms, which I really hope is just aliens and not the alternative.
Speaker A:At the end of that mission, they had 47 effectives.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:They then went to do a boarding action, wink, wink, against Eldar Corsairs.
Speaker A:They survived with 24 effectives.
Speaker B:Last chances.
Speaker B:Kill team confirmed.
Speaker A:Yeah, right.
Speaker A:I could see it from there.
Speaker A:They went off to fight at Kragmir against Orks and ended that mission with 12 effectives.
Speaker B:Hey, as long as there's at least one, it means dude, the Commissar survived and he can keep going.
Speaker A:Yeah, so they transferred from, you know, warzone to warzone until after the Battle of cragmere.
Speaker A:They had 12 troops.
Speaker A:But this wasn't even the briefing post they were meant to head towards.
Speaker A:Oh no, they head towards the briefing post with two survivors.
Speaker A:Not including superior personnel.
Speaker B:Okay, alright.
Speaker B:Two prisoners.
Speaker B:Cool.
Speaker A:The people that amassed at the briefing post at Typhos prime.
Speaker A:Find out that the whole Operation Harvest is not harvesting baddies, it's harvesting the penal legion.
Speaker A:Only the best possible soldiers should be in the Last Chances.
Speaker A:Duh.
Speaker B:You have to earn your last chance, right?
Speaker B:Yeah, by doing good murder.
Speaker A:By doing good murder.
Speaker A:But at the briefing post, they find out what their actual mission is that they've been preparing for this whole bloody time.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:Destroy a city.
Speaker B:Oh, well, they've got a demolition man, so that should be fine.
Speaker A:Maybe we don't.
Speaker A:Well, I don't know exactly when those various miniatures come in or out, or if all of them were even actually in the story, or if they were just minis.
Speaker A:I'm not.
Speaker A:I'm not gonna read four books to.
Speaker B:Tell you what came first.
Speaker B:The Last Chances or the Last Chances.
Speaker A:Probably the Last Chances.
Speaker A:So their mission is to destroy the city known as Cora Tenorum, which is a city rebelling against the Imperium because of Genestealers.
Speaker B:Tyranids.
Speaker A:Tyranids.
Speaker A:This was one of the first sort of moments where the Imperium's like, oh dear, I didn't realize we could be possessed by these things.
Speaker B:Oh.
Speaker B:Oh, that's not what you want to hear.
Speaker A:They're like, oh, the Imperium city's rebelling.
Speaker A:That sounds messed up.
Speaker A:And then they go, they're like, hold on a minute.
Speaker A:It's the bloody Nids.
Speaker A:They did a big kiss and now we have some scaly friends.
Speaker B:I don't like it when you put it like that.
Speaker A:A big kiss.
Speaker A:Yeah, that's exactly what happens.
Speaker A:They do the whole alien thing.
Speaker B:They go, yeah, I just don't like the potential that comes with that sentence.
Speaker A:Sure.
Speaker A:Well, either way, the Last Chancers accomplished their mission.
Speaker A:They.
Speaker A:They detonated the city's power reactors and caused a massive vaporizing explosion.
Speaker A:Now, who has survived this mission?
Speaker A:Well, we got Colonel Schaefer, we got Lieutenant Cage.
Speaker A:We also have a guy named Lieutenant Cronin on Deliverance.
Speaker A:He was brain damaged.
Speaker A:Still managed to survive all the way through the final mission despite having so much brain damage he could only speak in holy Scripture.
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker B:The Imperium do things in the weirdest way.
Speaker A:He.
Speaker A:He was unfortunately later killed by a Las Bolt to the chest.
Speaker A:So, alongside these friends, we have an Inquisitor named Auriel, who planned the entire mission, the whole operation.
Speaker A:Harvest, yada yada.
Speaker A:With the ulterior motive of trying to capture a Genestealer for study.
Speaker A:The Inquisitor had a couple of bodyguards with them.
Speaker A:I don't know if you've ever heard of the Afriel Strain.
Speaker B:That name sounds familiar.
Speaker A:The Afriel Strain were a bunch of abhumans that were extremely albino and uncomfortable to be around and weirdly unlucky.
Speaker A:But they were a batch of clones of one of the great Imperial Guard commanders, Lord Sola Macarius.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:But yeah, the Afriel Strain, they were genetically modified to be sort of like a halfway house between a Guardsman and a Marine.
Speaker A:You know, really just good.
Speaker A:Good reflexes, good strength, good endurance.
Speaker A:You know, except for the whole really uncomfortable aura.
Speaker A:And weirdly high amounts of bad luck.
Speaker B:Weirdly high amounts of bad luck, yeah.
Speaker A:One of them was killed by a Las Bolt to the head.
Speaker A:I wonder how that happened.
Speaker B:Was it the back of his head?
Speaker A:I think so.
Speaker A:Another of them, like the other one?
Speaker A:One died.
Speaker A:The other one escaped with the Inquisitor.
Speaker A:Off world, there was a couple of other individuals, including an Admech adept convicted of selling armaments to piratical forces, which doesn't seem quite right, but, yeah, we just got a bunch of misfits, really.
Speaker A:And that was like, the first sort of story, I guess, of the Last Chances was this whole, like, Operation Harvest blowing up the city of Kora Ta and Korra.
Speaker A:Far out today, Johnn.
Speaker A:Cora Tenorum.
Speaker B:Cora Tenorum.
Speaker A:Cora Tenorum.
Speaker A:What do we think about their initial entry into the Laws?
Speaker B:No one really survives long.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:Except two guys.
Speaker B:Except two guys.
Speaker A:Shall we go to a brief overview of what the second book involved?
Speaker B:Sure.
Speaker A:So I have yet another opening quote for you, if you want.
Speaker B:Go on.
Speaker A:So this is the opening of the second novel in the saga called Kill Team.
Speaker A:Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Speaker B:Hey, Last Chances.
Speaker B:Kill Team confirmed.
Speaker A:Hell, yeah.
Speaker A:So, Lyle.
Speaker A:I don't know if it's actually Lyle or if it's Elie or.
Speaker A:I'm just going to go with Kyle because it's funny.
Speaker A:Kyle raises a hand and I give him the nod to speak who the hell are you, sir?
Speaker A:He asks, hands on hips.
Speaker A:I am the man the Colonel visited a dozen kinds of hell upon.
Speaker A:And survived, I reply slowly, gesturing for the others to gather in front of me.
Speaker A:I am the man who helped the colonel kill 3 million people.
Speaker A:I am the only man to survive when 4,000 others died on the battlefield.
Speaker A:I have killed men in their sleep.
Speaker A:I have shot them, I have stabbed them, I have strangled them.
Speaker A:I've even beaten them to death with my hands and fists.
Speaker A:I've fought Tyranids and Orcs, I've marched across searing deserts and frozen wastelands.
Speaker A:I've nearly died six times.
Speaker A:My own men have tried to kill me on more than one occasion.
Speaker A:I've fought things you don't even know exist.
Speaker A:And I killed them.
Speaker A:Every word of it is true as well, and they can tell it by the look in my eye.
Speaker B:God's kinda scary.
Speaker A:I I'm fairly certain that's Lieutenant Cage.
Speaker B:Yep, math checks out.
Speaker A:So what is Kill Team about?
Speaker A:Well, you can listen to one of our earlier episodes, the Magic of kill team 40k made accessible.
Speaker B:You're such a shill.
Speaker A:It's my own product, Johnny.
Speaker A:It's our own thing.
Speaker A:It's not a frickin Audible sponsorship, is it?
Speaker B:One day, maybe.
Speaker B:One day.
Speaker A:I don't know how you do an effective sponsorship or something.
Speaker A:Everyone shills.
Speaker B:But anyway, I mean, man.
Speaker B:Oh, if Audible would sponsor me, I'm on their product a lot.
Speaker B:Please.
Speaker A:We would get maybe one person to sign up.
Speaker B:Hey, that'll be me, alright?
Speaker B:I'll be the one person.
Speaker B:I'm okay with that.
Speaker A:Hell yeah.
Speaker A:Alright.
Speaker A:Anyway, Kill Team, we have a mission called the Brightsword Mission.
Speaker A:So one year after Operation Harvest, Colonel Schaefer decided against his whittling down approach in favour of assembling instead a small strike team.
Speaker A:Or a kill team, if you will.
Speaker A:He got Lieutenant Cage to select convicts from his special prison.
Speaker A:Even so, during the team training there were still deaths, you know.
Speaker A:But despite all of that, a unit was put together and over the months engaged upon their mission, which was to assassinate the T'au commander known as Brightsword.
Speaker A:The Last Chances somehow managed to effectively pose as diplomatic envoys because T'au loved diplomacy.
Speaker A:Later they operated as mercenaries, I would assume for the T'au effectively working their way up the ranks to infiltrate the higher ranks of T'au and then achieve their mission by killing them.
Speaker B:Nice.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker A:What do you think of that?
Speaker B:I think that's gonna be an interesting read.
Speaker B:Maybe it's a book club idea.
Speaker B:Jerks.
Speaker A:Well, that's the whole Brightsword mission.
Speaker A:Like that's, that's the only real sort of summary we get.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker A:Which I like.
Speaker A:I like that the actual summaries offered here hasn't really spoiled too much of the minutiae of what's, you know, an actual like several hundred pages long novel.
Speaker A:For the mission, obviously we had the.
Speaker A:The key personnel of Colonel Schaefer, Lieutenant Cage, who has earned by now the name Last Chance.
Speaker A:I wonder what the Legion's named after.
Speaker B:I thought by this point they already had a name.
Speaker A:Look, maybe.
Speaker A:Maybe it was all like, you know, a fated naming.
Speaker A:Or maybe he's just missed the last chance himself.
Speaker A:He's the embodiment of the ideals.
Speaker B:It's the major, major debate.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker B:He's the last chance.
Speaker B:A last chance.
Speaker A:Well, this is like his second or third.
Speaker B:Every time he gets another last chance, they just add last chance to his name.
Speaker B:So his name is Last Chance.
Speaker B:Last Chance, Last Chance.
Speaker A:I think you maybe shouldn't start a career in creative writing.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker B:Won't do.
Speaker A:Who can we talk about that were in the mission?
Speaker A:Well, we've got a guy named Moak Moerk.
Speaker A:M O E R C K Moerk Merc.
Speaker A:He is an ex commissar.
Speaker A:He was convicted of failing to obey orders, even though he was actually innocent.
Speaker A:Still managed to be killed.
Speaker B:Ah, still managed to be killed.
Speaker A:We had a person named Flyboy who was the shuttle pilot.
Speaker A:He was convicted of firing upon friendly troops during the mission.
Speaker A:He deserted and it is unknown what happened to him afterwards.
Speaker A:Inquisitor Auriel makes another appearance.
Speaker A:He brought with him a Death Watch Marine who also survives.
Speaker B:Wait, there's Marines?
Speaker A:At least one.
Speaker B:God damn.
Speaker A:Back when, you know, a single space Marine was considered like a legend.
Speaker B:Yeah, right.
Speaker B:But also, I would have assumed they were too good to be put into the Last Chances.
Speaker A:Well, I'm sure he was there on behalf of the Inquisitor, not the Last Chances.
Speaker A:Maybe, but I saved the my favorite personnel note for last.
Speaker A:So a different brains to what the miniature represented.
Speaker A:Like another brains.
Speaker A:Codenamed person.
Speaker A:Trooper.
Speaker A:Convicted of insubordination.
Speaker A:Unfortunately, Johnny, they died during the mission because they attempted to interface with T'au battlesuit armor and had a neural, you know, bad time.
Speaker B:I mean, that would have been pretty cool if they succeeded though.
Speaker A:Yeah, it would have been pretty cool.
Speaker A:But that's all I really have to tell you about the Brightsword mission.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker A:I think it's a pretty, you know, paint by numbers.
Speaker A:This is the thing.
Speaker A:This is what Happens.
Speaker B:Well, without actually reading the book.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I'm sure there's lots of little fun details in the book.
Speaker A:I appreciate that we're not spoiling everything if you did want to go read it yourself.
Speaker A:Except for maybe what happens to good old brains.
Speaker A:But we're now getting to the things that actually caught my attention in the first place.
Speaker A:Armageddon.
Speaker B:Armageddon Outta Here.
Speaker A:Armageddon Outta Here.
Speaker A:Yeah, we already made that joke.
Speaker A:You can go listen to our episode, Armageddon Outta Here, where we extensively talk about the wars for Armageddon.
Speaker A:And it's how I came across these fellows, because they do something.
Speaker A:But that takes us to book three.
Speaker A:Annihilation Squad.
Speaker A:I have another opening quote for you.
Speaker B:Yeah, you.
Speaker A:Hang on.
Speaker A:Should I do a bad Arnold Schwarzenegger accent?
Speaker B:Please don't.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:You in particular should know what is at stake, the Colonel whispers.
Speaker A:Even in the darkness, I can see the angry glint of his icy eyes.
Speaker A:We must succeed.
Speaker A:Why?
Speaker A:I say, stepping out of his grasp.
Speaker A:Why the frag are we so Emperor damned important?
Speaker A:I don't believe your crap about us being the only ones who can do this.
Speaker A:There are currently those in the Inquisition who are working on a more drastic solution to the Von Strab problem.
Speaker A:He says the words quiet and clipped.
Speaker A:We are to be the last attempt at a covert conclusion.
Speaker A:I can tell where the Colonel's going with this.
Speaker A:They want to destroy Acheron.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:That's.
Speaker A:That's the whole quote?
Speaker A:That's the whole opening page.
Speaker B:You have my attention.
Speaker A:Well, I might have to go read the book then.
Speaker B:Why would you do that to me?
Speaker A:One second.
Speaker A:Don't have pets, Johnny.
Speaker B:I do.
Speaker B:That's why I have noise suppression on.
Speaker A:All right, so the first Armageddon mission.
Speaker A:It's the next one that they did on the world of Armageddon.
Speaker A:So, very small team of individuals, couple of dozen.
Speaker A:They were training for about a year.
Speaker A:Now, of course, they go into Armageddon.
Speaker A:Naturally, Orcs shoot their ship down.
Speaker A:And I assume the book touches upon it a lot more intimately than what I'm about to tell you.
Speaker A:But, you know, they crash land upon the planet, and whoever survives just engages along random combat, you know, missions, until they're able to actually get into Hive, Acheron and assassinate that bugger Hermann Von Straab.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:I know this guy.
Speaker A:But there's a twist, Johnny.
Speaker B:There's a twist.
Speaker A:There's a twist.
Speaker A:What do you think the twist was?
Speaker B:Ah, they killed the wrong guy.
Speaker A:Nope.
Speaker A:Lt.
Speaker A:Cage led them into a trap.
Speaker A:Johnny.
Speaker B:Aw, mate.
Speaker B:This was his last.
Speaker B:Last Chance.
Speaker A:It wasn't his fault, Johnny.
Speaker A:He was possessed by a demon.
Speaker A:Because the dude has been a latent psyker this whole time.
Speaker B:Okay?
Speaker B:Yeah, of course he was.
Speaker B:Why not?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Now, upon the terrifying Armageddon and crash landing in the jungles, where a bunch of Angroni corrupted parts of the world were, the demons are like, hey, look over there.
Speaker A:There's a guy.
Speaker A:Shall we go inside his brain?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:So, Lieutenant Cage, the mf, led the others into a trap as he allied himself with Hermann Von Straab.
Speaker A:But just before the entire team was executed, Lt.
Speaker A:Cage decided to lock the F in and decided to suppress the demonic possession and attempted to commit suicide by throwing himself into lava.
Speaker A:And he takes Von Straub with him into the lava and does the whole Terminator thumbs up thing.
Speaker B:Nice.
Speaker A:Sorry, Lieutenant Cage.
Speaker A:And that's the Armageddon.
Speaker A:The first Armageddon mission.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:Because obviously they're here.
Speaker B:They may as well stick around and get it done, right?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:What do you think about that mission, Johnny?
Speaker B:It feels very inspired by Terminator.
Speaker B:Hey, hey, hey.
Speaker B:Don't say it too badly.
Speaker B:They might get cancelled by gw.
Speaker A:Okay, what do we got?
Speaker A:We got a predator.
Speaker A:You know, the first book's him fighting NIDs.
Speaker A:This third one is a Terminator story as he goes to Armageddon and goes boom, boom.
Speaker A:What's book number two?
Speaker A:Is it Commando?
Speaker B:Maybe.
Speaker A:You've seen that movie, right?
Speaker B:I have.
Speaker A:It's just Commando, except with TAO that's.
Speaker B:Why I said maybe.
Speaker A:Maybe.
Speaker A:What can I tell you about the personnel in this one?
Speaker A:Well, let's see.
Speaker A:We have a bunch of fellows taken from the Armageddon Orc hunters that were a bit insubordinate.
Speaker A:Colonel Schaefer was obviously there.
Speaker A:Lieutenant Cage unfortunately fell into a lava field crevasse.
Speaker A:A heavy weapons specialist named Brownie unfortunately died falling into a lava field crevasse.
Speaker B:Is he the first one to die?
Speaker A:I don't know.
Speaker A:We had a navigator who was, you know, the one helping them guide their craft and was unfortunately then having to, like, work alongside the last chances against his will because they crash landed, unfortunately.
Speaker A:Poor navigator.
Speaker A:His name's Kelth, but I want to say his name's Keith.
Speaker A:Unfortunately, Keith died falling into a lava field.
Speaker A:Group of us.
Speaker B:Oh, no.
Speaker B:They ran out of shticks.
Speaker B:They just repeated them.
Speaker A:Unfortunately.
Speaker A:Do you remember the Afriel Strain members from the first mission?
Speaker A:How one died and one survived?
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:The one that survived volunteered for this mission because they firmly believed it was Lt.
Speaker A:Cage that, you know, shot their somewhat Sibling.
Speaker A:And they wanted to get revenge.
Speaker B:Seems fitting.
Speaker A:But they failed because as they went to go do that, the demon's like, oh, my God, they're trying to murder us.
Speaker A:And then just brutally, demonically murdered them first.
Speaker B:Oh, no.
Speaker B:Oh, no.
Speaker A:Do you see what I mean about high amounts of unfortunate bad luck?
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker B:Gotta keep that story going.
Speaker A:You know, there's an individual named.
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker A:Oahebz.
Speaker A:Oaheb.
Speaker B:Oh, my God, these names.
Speaker B:Why can't they just call them Chad?
Speaker A:O A H E B S.
Speaker A:I'm gonna call him Hebby.
Speaker A:Hebby was assigned to the Last Chances by the Inquisitor because the Inquisitor knew bloody well that Lieutenant Cage had psychic abilities and kept a blank around him so it wouldn't happen.
Speaker A:Okay, now Hebby comes back in the fourth one.
Speaker A:A bit more.
Speaker A:A bit more than that.
Speaker A:So that's why I mentioned Hebby.
Speaker A:But we have the fourth book, which would come out 15 years IRL later without a mini.
Speaker B:Unfortunate.
Speaker A:And I really feel like they really could have done it because the following Armageddon missions, like Armageddon Saint is all more Armageddon.
Speaker A:What's the twist of Armageddon Saint Johnny?
Speaker A:What do you think?
Speaker B:Oh, is this the part where they, I don't know, end up somewhere they're not meant to be?
Speaker A:That does happen, because we're going to.
Speaker B:What, Second War of Armageddon.
Speaker A:The killing of Von straab was Armageddon 3.
Speaker B:Armageddon 3.
Speaker A:Okay, it's orcs, but again, yeah.
Speaker B:So this is between Armageddon 3 and Armageddon 4.
Speaker A:Correct.
Speaker B:So this is.
Speaker B:Ooh.
Speaker B:This is more recent lore than we've discussed.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:For Armageddon.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I've been edging you this whole time for a bit of the good stuff.
Speaker A:There's a decent chance the Last Chances will appear once more in the upcoming Crusade supplement.
Speaker B:What I'm hearing is Khorne happens.
Speaker A:Khorne does happen.
Speaker B:Hey, we got there.
Speaker A:Hey.
Speaker B:So this is Armageddon 4.
Speaker B:Primer.
Speaker A:Armageddon 4 stuff.
Speaker A:I mean, it's definitely a bit of a side story, but I think it's a lot of fun.
Speaker B:Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker A:This is definitely recontextualized into more of the modern 40k storytelling, which is everyone's kind of here and a lot of funky stuff happens.
Speaker A:But it's just Tuesday.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Because in the grand scheme of things, every day is a Tuesday.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So we'll get started with probably the most wacky doodle thing.
Speaker A:Lieutenant Cage survived.
Speaker B:Oh, of course.
Speaker B:He Did.
Speaker B:He's a demonically possessed psyker.
Speaker A:Cage survives his fall into lava, which, if you didn't know, when a fleshy thing goes into lava, you don't melt, you explode.
Speaker B:Yeah, because all of the water superheats and has to get out in a real quick pace.
Speaker A:That didn't happen to Lieutenant Cage.
Speaker A:He fell in and then got out and healed up.
Speaker A:He believes that the Emperor looked out for him.
Speaker B:Oh, he doesn't blame the demon.
Speaker A:Well, he is no longer possessed.
Speaker A:He is no longer possessed after this.
Speaker B:I don't believe you.
Speaker A:Well, he might be.
Speaker A:I don't know.
Speaker A:Read the book Armageddon the Saint.
Speaker A:At least Lt.
Speaker A:Cage thinks the Emperor saved his life and put him up as a bit of a saintly figure.
Speaker A:So he takes on the moniker of the Burned Man.
Speaker A:Now, this is obviously like in the after effects of Armageddon 3.
Speaker A:There's still a bunch of orcs and stuff.
Speaker A:A lot of hives are a little bit beaten up.
Speaker A:So the Burned man, as the name spreads around, gets a bit of an.
Speaker A:Like a militia of their own.
Speaker A:They bring together a bunch of underhivers, guardsmen, deserters.
Speaker A:Hilariously, he actually manages to kill an Orc warboss.
Speaker A:And one of the orc knobs that was under this warboss was like, hey, that umi's pretty good.
Speaker A:I'm gonna follow him now.
Speaker B:Oh, no.
Speaker A:And so an Orc nob and his own personal grot even join in this little Last Chancer mob.
Speaker B:This is some serious wacky stuff.
Speaker A:The orc's name is Nazreck.
Speaker A:He's like, oy, I'm Nazrek.
Speaker A:I'm gonna fight with you.
Speaker A:Cause you's the strongest.
Speaker A:Eh?
Speaker A:Eh.
Speaker A:I love the orc voice.
Speaker A:So fun.
Speaker A:At this point, Colonel Schaefer finds out Cage survives, and he's like, all right.
Speaker A:That dude.
Speaker A:He survived, man.
Speaker A:Dude's still possessed.
Speaker A:Let's go get him.
Speaker B:He told you.
Speaker B:I didn't believe you.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker A:Unfortunately, Cage manages to capture Schaefer and the the New Last Chances.
Speaker A:But they had to work together because as they are having their little conflict, a bunch of orcs go past and, like, run as they're being chased by a bloodthirster.
Speaker B:There he is.
Speaker A:A bunch of bloodletters and a bloodthirster are chasing the orcs.
Speaker A:And then the humans, like, both mobs of the Last Chance is like, oh, no.
Speaker A:And join in the orcs to run away, because we're now having that great Rift do all its wacky doodle stuff and korn's like, I'm back, baby.
Speaker B:I'm back, baby.
Speaker A:And then Cage and Schaefer are like, alright, we don't have to like each other to try and keep the citizenry alive, right?
Speaker A:Correct.
Speaker A:And they basically fled with all the citizenry they could, eventually garrisoning with a bunch of Sisters of Battle, of the Order of the Argent Shroud, who are notoriously non communicative.
Speaker A:So that's interesting.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker A:Unfortunately, as they are garrisoning with the Sisters of Battle, a bunch of Khorne Berserkers.
Speaker A:Like, I smell them.
Speaker A:They're over there.
Speaker A:And from what I can tell, it's a very bloody engagement as the Khorne Berserkers are really portrayed for the sheer lethality of a Astartes veteran.
Speaker A:Just.
Speaker A:You won't believe me, but Khorne Berserkers head shotting with bolt pistols on their charging.
Speaker B:Hold on a Second World eaters.
Speaker B:Yeah, World eaters don't shoot.
Speaker A:Oh, they're rapid fire now.
Speaker A:It's fine.
Speaker B:They shoot better than ever.
Speaker A:So it was going not good until a bunch of salamanders from across the way were like, hold on, is that a fight?
Speaker A:And they came and helped out.
Speaker B:Is that a fight?
Speaker A:Salamanders love UBIs.
Speaker A:So they're like iron on salamanders.
Speaker B:Confirmed for Armageddon 4.
Speaker A:Yeah, I mean, they.
Speaker A:They've been one of the major space marine chapters fighting on Armageddon.
Speaker A:I must admit, even in the Hell's Reach novel featuring the Black Templars, a bunch of salamanders are there.
Speaker A:And there's even a big standoff because the Captain's like, I'm going to go defend the citizens.
Speaker A:And the Black Templar chaplain's like, are you kidding me?
Speaker B:No.
Speaker A:The orcs are right there.
Speaker A:And the salamanders are like, yeah, but like goomies.
Speaker A:If all the citizens die, what are we fighting for?
Speaker A:And then the Black Templars are like, get out.
Speaker B:How dare you say that?
Speaker A:And like, fine, we'll go across the river and go help the Last Chances.
Speaker A:I guess.
Speaker A:So by this point, big warp storms.
Speaker A:Not good.
Speaker A:Not a good time.
Speaker B:Very, very bad.
Speaker B:Very, very bad.
Speaker A:As every drop of blood spills on the planet, the main warp incursion high in the sky gets larger and larger as Khorne's like, mmm, delicious.
Speaker B:Tasty.
Speaker A:I love it all.
Speaker B:Khorne cares not.
Speaker A:I love to fight.
Speaker A:Yeah, the Sisters and the Salamanders and the Last Chances, they're like, alright, we gotta do something about this.
Speaker A:We're gonna clear the way.
Speaker A:Yeah, You've got a plan?
Speaker A:And the Last Chancer, like, yeah, we got a plan, alright.
Speaker B:Sure they do.
Speaker B:Why don't I believe them?
Speaker A:So Nazrec explains that, like, the Orc nob that's conveniently not been killed by now is like, hey, did you know, by the way, this used to be Big Orc planet?
Speaker A:That explains why we have the big psychic bomba.
Speaker A:We're like, we want this planet.
Speaker A:Our planet.
Speaker A:It's Ork planet.
Speaker B:Eh, Your Orc impression got a little kiwi there.
Speaker A:Well, maybe it's trying to fit in now.
Speaker A:And I'll go again.
Speaker A:So if we go and get the weird boys, maybe we could turn them into a bomb.
Speaker B:Bomba.
Speaker A:Big psychic bomba.
Speaker A:There you go.
Speaker A:Is that less kiwi for you?
Speaker B:All I'm thinking now is, oh, Orcs never change.
Speaker A:So Lieutenant Cage, now the Burned man is like, hmm, I have an idea.
Speaker A:And the last chances do what last chances do best and infiltrate a Xenos camp.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker A:They manage to kidnap a weird boy Warboss.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:A bunch of Hoomies managed to capture.
Speaker A:A huge murderous Orc because they strapped Hebby to him so he no longer has his psychic connection.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker A:Because Hebbies are blank.
Speaker B:Yep, that makes sense.
Speaker A:And then they're like, all right, we got the sisters and we got the Salamanders fighting so that we can go do our thing.
Speaker A:They basically then have a James Gunn Suicide Squad moment and hop into a big plane or a dropship, I don't know if it's that big.
Speaker A:And they fly directly into the warp tear.
Speaker B:Oh, nice.
Speaker A:And then.
Speaker A:And then they're like, cool.
Speaker A:Somehow Hebby dies to an errant las bolt in the ship while it's in the warp.
Speaker A:Don't know how that happened.
Speaker B:Was the bolt into the back of his head?
Speaker A:I think so.
Speaker B:I know what commissars are like.
Speaker A:So this allows the Weirdboy to tap into the warp.
Speaker A:The Weird boy's like, oh, my gosh, I'm in the warp.
Speaker A:I see gorg.
Speaker A:I see Mork bom.
Speaker A:And did such an explosive boomba that it managed to close the warp tear that Khorne was slowly, you know, gaping over Armageddon.
Speaker B:Oh, you had to use the word, didn't you?
Speaker B:I did.
Speaker B:I tried.
Speaker B:I tried to cut in and stop it, too.
Speaker B:And it just.
Speaker B:I'm sorry, listeners.
Speaker A:Khorne's bloody wound.
Speaker B:Orton's gaping hole.
Speaker A:Johnny, I can't believe you would say that.
Speaker A:So it managed to close the warp tier.
Speaker A:Except when you're in the warp, time is a little messed Up.
Speaker B:Eh, yeah, things don't work.
Speaker B:Sometimes it's faster, sometimes it's slower, sometimes it's the same.
Speaker A:Who do we got?
Speaker A:So we had Schaefer and Lt.
Speaker A:Cage at this point.
Speaker A:Multiple people within the east.
Speaker A:The easier are like, that guy's a saint.
Speaker A:A living saint.
Speaker B:Oh, no.
Speaker A:To the point where even like one of the sister superiors of the order they were fighting alongside were like, oh, my God.
Speaker A:Oh my emperor.
Speaker A:That fellow has the energy of a saint.
Speaker A:I'm going to firmly believe in his sainthood now.
Speaker B:And that was how you got your last chance.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So the Sister Superior, Eladia was there.
Speaker A:They had, you know, Nazarec and his Grot, who were extremely loyal just the whole time.
Speaker A:Both the Sister Superior and Nazareck and his Grot, unfortunately were last seen battling demons.
Speaker A:So fervently they managed to fall off the ship and kept fighting until they were no more drifting in the warp.
Speaker A:Well, that's sad, because in the Last Chances novel, you can only have two survivors, Schaefer and Cage.
Speaker A:Survivors.
Speaker A:Something a fun little footnote.
Speaker A:The wastelanders that Cage would end up uniting revealed to him that, you know, before the orcs, there was the first war for Armageddon.
Speaker A:And it was a very big secret passed down from her clan.
Speaker A:And that's what led him to think, oh, my goodness, it's a Warp incursion.
Speaker A:Because of the whole Khorne thing.
Speaker A:That explains all of this.
Speaker A:She would unfortunately be killed en route to somewhere by a World Eater Bolt.
Speaker B:World Eater bolt, she says.
Speaker B:You sure it wasn't a Commissar Bolt?
Speaker A:Who knows?
Speaker B:You gotta silence all that talk of the first War of Armageddon.
Speaker B:Alright?
Speaker B:There's a reason it was a secret pass down.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So Lieutenant Cage survives lava no longer possessed.
Speaker A:Colonel Schaefer approves his loyalty.
Speaker A:The Sister Superior, the orc Nob Hebby.
Speaker B:All.
Speaker A:All KIA The Warp tear, gone.
Speaker A:Thanks to the weirdboy.
Speaker A:Thanks to the orc, the Schaefer and Cage would escape the warp, except because of warp time, they emerged 50 years later.
Speaker B:There we go.
Speaker B:There it is.
Speaker B:There's the we moved you forward in time button.
Speaker A:From what I can tell, the book ends with them resolving to make yet another team of Last Chances to help combat the perils of the galaxy.
Speaker B:Dun dun dun dun.
Speaker B:AKA Armageddon.
Speaker A:That was Last Chances by the Black Library, written by CAB Thorpe.
Speaker A:Spoken by Joshi, featuring Johnny.
Speaker B:Featuring occasional commentary.
Speaker A:And now we need the Black Library.
Speaker A:Audible music Bom bom bom.
Speaker B:It's so dramatic and it's so loud, like Compared to the voice.
Speaker B:Hot damn.
Speaker B:It's like, ah, I'm deaf now.
Speaker A:I can't take it seriously anymore after all the Horus heresy and they went to Davin.
Speaker A:But that's all I have for you, boo.
Speaker B:That's super interesting stories about Astra Militarum and must be the only good lore they have.
Speaker A:And we just lost some listeners.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:We don't have many to start with.
Speaker B:We can't afford to lose any.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:If all of our insensitive jokes didn't kick him out.
Speaker B:Hey, hey.
Speaker B:You don't come to two Aussies and expect things to be sensitive.
Speaker A:What about the Indian guy?
Speaker A:Oh, Animal.
Speaker A:Bloody hell, Joshi.
Speaker A:No, I say that because.
Speaker A:Wrong kind of Indian because his, like, official artwork is definitely a tribal man.
Speaker B:But I didn't say tribal.
Speaker B:I said Indian because the dude had a headband and brown clothes.
Speaker A:I know, but as slightly rural Aussies, we're not exactly PC.
Speaker B:We sure ain't.
Speaker A:Anyway.
Speaker A:Anyway, I want you to tell me, mate, about what else you thought about them last chances.
Speaker A:Aye.
Speaker B:I mean, you say last chances, but it's two dudes.
Speaker A:It's literally two dudes and a bunch of people they could care less over.
Speaker B:It's two dudes throwing bodies at a problem until the problem goes away.
Speaker A:And sometimes they're the ones making the bodies.
Speaker B:I think it's very Astra Militarum.
Speaker B:There is enough of the.
Speaker B:And this person died, but we're not exactly sure if it was friendly fire.
Speaker A:Killed by Errant Lasbold.
Speaker B:Yeah, right.
Speaker A:Errant.
Speaker B:That's why I'm always like, was it in the back of his head or the front?
Speaker A:I always assume so, but from what I've gathered of these guys, could be the front.
Speaker B:It gives me the vibe of, we told you we would pardon you, but no one has ever been pardoned.
Speaker B:Vibes.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Lieutenant Gage.
Speaker B:Yeah, but he's.
Speaker B:He's senior officer now, so he's part of the problem, not part of the solution, you know?
Speaker B:And they definitely tried to kill him multiple times.
Speaker A:Sure did.
Speaker B:At some point you just cut.
Speaker B:Cut your losses.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And realize, oh, maybe this guy just isn't right to die.
Speaker A:I'm a.
Speaker A:I'm a big fan of the 15 years later he lived.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I think this would make for a very interesting kill team.
Speaker B:My only problem is, I don't know how you would differentiate it from other Astra Militarum kill teams, because it's kind of just like two dudes and a bunch of operatives that do different things.
Speaker A:Simple.
Speaker A:Simple you make it as scrappy and kitbashy esque as possible.
Speaker A:You bring in an orc, you bring in a sister superior, you bring in an Admech person who's not quite Admech.
Speaker B:Give them some list building options.
Speaker B:Like some of the kill teams obviously have list building, but most of them that's like, oh, you have these.
Speaker B:You can pick 10 models and seven of them are bespoke units that you will always take.
Speaker B:And the other ones are generic warriors.
Speaker B:Maybe give them like 10 operatives, but the kit builds like 10 or 15 or maybe even like different versions and there's actually some list building behind it depending on what you're fighting, what you bring.
Speaker A:I like it.
Speaker B:I could make it like a.
Speaker B:A mid, almost elite kill team or because of the way that kill team is kind of structured at the moment.
Speaker B:Spoiler alert.
Speaker B:Make them elite killers.
Speaker A:Oh, you could even have one of your Armageddon Orc Hunters, Johnny.
Speaker A:And they could be really good against.
Speaker A:Yeah, like the Elites if you bring the Armageddon Boys.
Speaker B:Because the way that kill team balance works, currently Elites are kind of dominating the field.
Speaker B:Your Mid and Horde armies do just fall off in the face of AP3 damage reduction and silly things that Astartes do.
Speaker B:So maybe creating like a mid sized Astra Militarum anti elite kill team to try and shift the meta slightly would also be a pretty cool way to do things and then make them last chances because they're all just prisoners and if they die, everyone else gets a buff or something because you know, you.
Speaker A:Know what you could do?
Speaker B:What?
Speaker A:Well, firstly, I want to say I really like the gets buffed if died.
Speaker A:That's good.
Speaker A:But imagine if you had maybe like, I don't know, 5ish?
Speaker A:5ish of the individuals.
Speaker A:They could be Armageddon Orc Hunters to pad out the general roster.
Speaker A:And if you play 40k, you could either bring the last chances HQ, much like Gaunt's Ghosts, or you could split them up and you could run like Lt.
Speaker A:Cage or Col.
Speaker A:Schaefer as a cheap Commissar esque character.
Speaker A:And then you could also run like the 5ish individuals as an elite Armageddon Steel Legion unit.
Speaker B:Ho ho.
Speaker B:Oh yeah.
Speaker B:My only gripe with trying to make an elite Astra Militarum team is they're just humans and it doesn't really fit the vibe to have Elites because the Elites are meant to be tougher and faster and stronger.
Speaker A:Big damage but no health.
Speaker B:The other option is you stick with the when they die, everyone else gets better.
Speaker B:But make it like a horde army where you've got like two dudes who are semi elite, AKA the two survivors.
Speaker B:And it's kind of just throw bodies at the pile and make it go away is their whole vibe, which I think would be super interesting.
Speaker B:So it's a bunch of generic looking prisoners that don't really matter much with a couple of heavy weapons thrown in.
Speaker B:And it's like a 15 or 20 unit kill team of just like weaklings that are meant to win just by through superior numbers.
Speaker B:You know, I think that would be a really interesting way of also handling them.
Speaker B: ts or maybe they split into a: Speaker A:I mean it's right there.
Speaker A:You could have Penal Legion.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Like make them their own thing.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And then.
Speaker B:Yeah, make them super scrappy looking.
Speaker B:I think that.
Speaker B:Honestly I think I prefer that to the elite killing and just being like they're all gonna die.
Speaker B:It's fine.
Speaker A:All the.
Speaker A:All the blood effects on the painting.
Speaker B:Make them like a super horde army.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker A:I'm down.
Speaker A:That's a good idea, Johnny.
Speaker A:Brilliant.
Speaker A:Shall we wrap it up there, my friend?
Speaker B:Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker A:All right.
Speaker A:That was penal.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Cool.
Speaker A:I had a lot of fun with reading this and talking about this.
Speaker A:As we discussed at the very start of the episode, we'll be doing Angel Exterminatus.
Speaker A:Get onto that book if you'd like next week.
Speaker A:I don't even know what we're going to talk about, but I'd like to for once do something that isn't Warhammer related.
Speaker B:Just.
Speaker A:Just for now, just one episode.
Speaker A:Have a little bit of a pressure release.
Speaker B:Did you have a potential topic in mind?
Speaker A:Um, well, you asking me if I had a potential topic in mind?
Speaker B:Yeah, for something that's.
Speaker B:But what would you.
Speaker B:What do you feel like would be a nice break from 40k at this point.
Speaker B:What's got your hyper focus focused.
Speaker A:Couple of ideas I had in mind included things such as D and D stories or fave video games.
Speaker A:Stuff along those lines.
Speaker A:Might need to do a bit more thanking but.
Speaker A:Same same.
Speaker A:But diff still hobby.
Speaker A:Still nerdy.
Speaker B:All right, I'm sure we can come up with an idea.
Speaker A:What do you think of those ideas?
Speaker B:Oh, I don't want to spoil too much for the viewers, but listeners that one.
Speaker B:But I do like these ideas.
Speaker B:I'm sure we can focus down an idea for next week and then we'll.
Speaker A:Be back on that 40K or Warhammer in general train after that.
Speaker A:Yeah, and Fulgrim will be out pretty soon too.
Speaker B:Probably, probably.
Speaker B:Probably the one after that.
Speaker B:But no promises.
Speaker A:Oh, it just occurred to me what I also want to talk about.
Speaker A:Y'all seem to go nuts for our Emperor's Children faction reaction.
Speaker A:You can go listen to that if you haven't.
Speaker A:So why not do World Eaters Death Guard versions too?
Speaker A:Talking about more so you know the rules rather than the models.
Speaker B:Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker A:Cool.
Speaker A:That's your April update.
Speaker B:Well, I feel like it's more like May update because it's the 27th today that we are recording.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:An update in April for May.
Speaker A:Yeah, but it will come out of May.
Speaker B:Plans for May roadmap.
Speaker A:Plans for May Roadmap.
Speaker A:Alright, take us away, Jonny.
Speaker B:I hope you all have a lovely week of hobbying.
Speaker B:Try and get some thing built or something painted or something played.
Speaker B:Enjoy whatever chance you can.
Speaker B:And yeah, go check us out on the Instagram.
Speaker B:We're not so active yet.
Speaker B:But the more people show up, the more we will be enticed to do it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And then we can ask you questions on what you want to see and hear.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:So the more you engage with us, the more we can make engaging content for you.
Speaker A:Do it.
Speaker A:Or we'll send you to the penal legions.
Speaker B:And with that, I hope you all have a lovely time and we will see you next time.
Speaker B:This has been the TTPFM Gianna's Warp.
Speaker A:Storm over my House.
Speaker B:Don't quit your day job.
